Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Philippians 4:8 Kind of Day

**Disclaimer:  This post is really self-indulgent, and more of a vent than anything else.  It has almost nothing to do with my cute baby girl so feel free to skip it!

Today was one of those days that really make my hate living in Clovis.  Normally, it is a daily struggle to find the positives about living here, but I can often do it.  I do try HARD to have a good attitude.  Some days my efforts are more effective than others.  Here's how today went.

I woke up this morning to nice temperatures.  Sweet!  Decided that E and I should take a walk around the neighborhood.  This wasn't too bad until the sustained winds of 25+ mph (not unusual here) blowing in Evie's face made her cry.  Walk fail.

This afternoon, following lunch and naptime I decided to go to the family room at the base gym and learn how to use the weight machine in there.  When I got there there were 4 other moms and their 5 kids already in there.  One mom stood in front of the weight machine, blocking access to it, talking to another mom for about 10 minutes so I decided to do a quick warm-up on the eliptical.  No big deal.  I put Evie into the big enclosed play area with the other kids, ages 1-5ish, and went about my business.  Evie was having a good time until a 4 year old little girl started yelling at her not to take her toy (which she wasn't even trying to do).  That little girl's mom calmly said to her daughter, "don't yell at the baby," and went back to working out.

 I considered packing it in right then, but the kids started playing nicely again so I decided to wait it out, thinking that surely the weight machine would open up soon.  Well, I was WRONG!  The mom who had been standing in front of the weight machine talking started to actually use the machine.  Ugh.  About that time, as my frustration was beginning to peak, the 4 year old girl started to push Evie, who was just crawling around close to that girl and another 4 years old.  I called out to her, "play nicely with the baby, please!"  The girl's mother did nothing.

The chatty mom finished with the weight machine, and I was about to start using it when she pulled over an exercise ball, again blocking access to the machine, and started doing crunches on it!  I decided to wait 5 more minutes to see if she would finish.  At that point, a 5 year old little boy started sitting on another big exercise ball, and rolled it into Evie, who was sitting nearby.  I said loudly, "look out for the baby!"  The boy looked at me, and kept doing it while his mom yet again observed but did nothing. 

At that point I went over, grabbed Evie and said to her, "let's go ahead and get you out of here.  It's just a little too hazardous for you in here with these big kids!"  I will have you know that the mother of the two troublemakers did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! 

Watching your two kids, who are absolutely old enough to know better and to be disciplined, be mean and play roughly with my 10 month old and doing nothing about it is absolutely not okay.  However, this mother was clearly young (probably 8-10 years younger than I am) and I just didn't feel like I could say anything to her without seeming really condescending.  So I just left.  Steaming.

I headed on over to Albertsons because I needed some almond butter for a recipe tonight. On the way there my car was battling winds that are now gusting at 45 mph, and dodging, I kid you not, huge tumbleweeds.  It looked like a scene from an old western movie.  And wouldn't you know, they didn't even have almond butter at Albertsons.  I had to go to the health food store to buy it.  Typical Clovis.

As we got in the car to head home, I found myself yelling, ranting, to no one, about how much I hate it here, and then Evie started to cry.  I about lost it.  And then I remembered my Bible study lesson from yesterday - Philippians 4:8.    I found myself chanting "Finally, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things."

This verse has a special meaning to me aside from being from a recent Bible study, and I love that I have it memorized.  While I may not have been able to stick to its imperative today 100%, I'm glad that it was there, in the back of my mind, to remind me of the way I'm called to act as a Christian mom.

So I promise to try even harder to have a good attitude tomorrow. 


Anonymous said...

It's okay to be frustrated, Lindsay. It sounds like the perfect confluence of events to make things go bad, so it's natural to be upset -- especially when anybody does wrong by your daughter. As you know, the real test is your response. I think posting a rant is a fine response.

Hang in there ... is there a Wal-Mart in Clovis? It was the social hub in Natchitoches. :-)

Aunt Susan

Anna M said...

I understand, Lindsay. I live in a place surrounded by people I know and the weather, though hot and humid, it bearable 90% of the time, and I still have bad miserable days. That's mamahood, I guess. I can't imagine living in Tumbleweed Town. I've been around other moms like you did the right thing...both getting out of there and then venting once you were away. And your blog is a great place to post about it because sometimes you do need to be self-indulgent (call it what you will) and let others give you a pick-me-up. Thanks for being real!!